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Kahalu'u Ward Message 9/27/26

Writer: Kahaluu Bishop
Kahaluu Bishop
Sep 26
5 min read

Updated: Sep 27

I used to drive a little Toyota Corolla not too long ago. One day I pulled into the parking lot at CPB Kalihi, and the whole lot was empty — not one other car. I parked in the stall closest to the bank entrance and started to get out.

That's when this guy in a massive lifted truck pulls in and parks in the tiny stall right next to me. Not one of the dozen other open stalls. Right next to me. And he's a big guy too — so big that getting out of his truck meant squeezing and smushing himself between our vehicles, and in the process he scratched the top of my front fender.

I was livid. "Bruh, what the — you HAD to park right here?" He got loud right back, talking stupid while he was still trying to wedge himself out from between the vehicles. And right there, mid-argument, I looked up and noticed the security cameras pointed directly at us. I thought: If I put this guy to sleep right now, how do I explain that to my wife? To my kids? To my church family — especially if that footage ever got out?

That's the exact moment Paul's words to Timothy came to mind, even though I couldn't see quote them at the time:

"But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes." (2 Timothy 2:23)

Paul was writing to a young leader surrounded by people who loved to argue — not to find truth, but to win. Paul's counsel wasn't "make sure you're right." It was avoid it altogether, because arguments like that don't produce truth. They only produce strife. Some fights simply aren't worth having, because winning was never the point — the fight was the point.

So I made a decision. I walked into the bank. He followed me in. We ended up at two different tellers, a few feet apart, and he kept going — yelling across the lobby, saying whatever he wanted, in front of tellers, security cameras, and everyone else standing in line. And I just… didn't engage. I did my banking, said thank you to my teller, and walked out. I never said another word to him.

Looking back, that was harder than it sounds. It's one thing to walk away in a parking lot. It's another to stand there while someone's yelling at you in a room full of people, and choose silence anyway. But the only thing standing between escalation and peace in that moment was a choice I got to make, over and over, for as long as he kept talking.

President Russell M. Nelson taught this exact principle in his April 2023 conference talk, "Peacemakers Needed." He said:

"The Savior's message is clear: His true disciples build, lift, encourage, persuade and inspire — no matter how difficult the situation. True disciples of Jesus Christ are peacemakers."

He also said:

"In situations that are highly charged and filled with contention, I invite you to remember Jesus Christ. … As we follow the Prince of Peace, we will become His peacemakers."

And maybe the part that hits closest to home:

"You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation."

That's really what it comes down to. Every time. The other guy made his choice, over and over, in that lobby. I got to make mine, over and over too. This week, when someone cuts you off, says something careless, or does something that makes your blood boil — pause before you respond. Ask yourself:

  • Is engaging going to lead anywhere good?

  • What would walking away actually cost me?

  • What would the Savior do in this exact moment?

Sometimes the most spiritually mature move isn't proving your point. It's staying quiet at the teller window while someone else loses control of theirs. I know the Savior never took the bait of contention, even when He had every reason to. He responded to hostility with patience, and to conflict with peace. I testify that as we choose to be peacemakers — even in small, humiliating, public moments like a bank lobby — we invite the Spirit to stay close, and we become a little more like Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


Brother Kyle Nitahara EQ President, Kahalu'u Ward



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